a sick mommy, biting and politics...oh my!

So, I'm done with being sick; seriously, I'm done. And right, I know; no one likes being sick. However, being sick as a ResLife Mommy is doubley sucky I think! (I'm sure many of my single or childless, or I have other responsibilities friends would disagree, but its my feelings and I"m owning it, okay?!) It started last week with the crazy throat on fire, cut up by shards of glass feeling, followed by the sinus issue, followed by maybe a one day reprieve and them BAM, a stomach thing, followed immediately by a chest cough (which incidentally is even worse when one's abs haven't recovered from the trauma of retching). I tried to make it today; I really did. I drove 15 minutes into the office just to empy my deleted box in my email because for whatever reason I can't do it at home. Mind you, this is while I still frankly, feel like crap, had to drop Autumn off at school because she missed her bus and remember on the WAY into work that actually my staff meeting was off-campus today. So, I drive the 15 minutes in, chat with my secretary, delete the damn email (which by the way, is very hard for me to do as I live in constant paranoia of needing to "prove" something regarding an email to a supervisor; however, with no time to review 485 emails, I just take a deep breath and delete). So, I do this deed, talke to one of my RDs about it and then drive back home to change out of the stupid dress clothes into jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt, to drive to the apple farm to meet my staff AND get stopped in one lane road work in the boonies of Maine, NY! So, I'm half an hour late to meet my staff. We have a quick breakfast and casual discussion (thank goodness there was nothing major to chat about) and then pick a few apples. My legs literally felt like LEAD as did my head; signed, sealed, delivered...I'm done; going home.

So, I go home, check email again, respond to a few things and decided, I need to go back to bed, and so I do, for 2 hours! Fast forward to the family coming home. Autumn comes home first. I hear her call me so I yell, I'm up here to which she chooses to ignore me and proceed to her room muttering; clearly upset. I call her several times and finally get her to come into the room (head too heavy to get up). To which she's clearly pissed. After some coaxing the tears come and our spills the drama...half an hours worth..>LITERALLY! This girl said this, this girl said that, maybe I should just be done with this friendship, etc., etc. I try to just listen and reflect what she was saying, I try to have the realistic conversation; (ie: some people you'll be friendly with, but you'll learn who your real friends are); nothing works. The entire time I'm thinking; what do I even do here? I need a book to reference or something...Not that I don't think I can connect, I do, but its back to this parenting a "tween" in this age. She's literally dealing with emotional and social turmoil that I did in middle school. Now, most people I know think middle school was the most atrocious thing in the world because of the hell we all put each other through. Now kids are dealing with thie 3-5 years earlier than that. We didn't have the emotional intelligence or cognition to deal with it at 11-13. How are they supposed to at 9 I ask? So finally she just rants herself done and seems to be able to move on. We'll see what the school day holds tomorrow. Now, I try to NOT NOT NOT become the type of parent that I see in Res Life work; the stealth bomber. Sometimes I wonder though if I'm pushing to hard to not be "that parent" that I"m not giving her what she needs. I worry that she's running with the "cool" group and isn't developing any real close friendships; girlfriends (real ones) are so important I think. ARGH! So on the one end, I feel her pain, but on the other, I'm trying to just be supportive. I want to say the ditch the bitchy girls and be friends with the nice ones, but I know how that would have made me feel; that my Mom "so didn't get it", so I don't do that, but I wonder if I'm missing something.

Enter Kevin and Abbie: Autumn shuts the door on Kevin (as she so does NOT want to talk to him about this...her attitude, not mine) and just about lets Abbie in; who just wants to tell me about her new friend Emma; not what Autumn wants to hear in her grouchy, nobody likes me, everbody hates me, I guess I'll eat some worms moment (or 30 moments, whatever). Eventually though, Abbie dons some silly glasses and a hat and make Autumn laugh; aaahh positive sister relationships. We all go out to the living room. Abbie plays, Autumn works on her homework and I work on work stuff on the laptop. Then the usual debate begins; what's for dinner; the PRESSURE! I'm sick; I don't want to eat, much less make anything so we agree on leftovers.

Kevin wanders downstairs to the computer and I am in the kitchen doing I don't even know what, and I hear Autumn whining or something. My ears perk up, but its one of those, is she laughing, crying, whining bits or what. Then I realize its sobbing. It hurts!~ Stop! I run in just in time to grab Abbie to have Autumn yell between sobs; she bit me! Did I mention Abbie is going through a biting phase? I don't even look first because I know when Autumn is how she looked, its not her usual drama. I yell down to Kevin to get up there and in Abbie goes for a time out. I look at the bite and its broken the skin and drawn blood; great! So, after calling the on call nurse, we determine just a good washing and tylenol for the pain will suffice and I need to keep my eye on it for infection and put ice on it every hour or so until the swelling goes down. We have a conversation with Abbie about biting again (where the heck is she getting this?), she apologizes to Autumn and gives her a hug and a kiss. All seems okay; then comes dinner. Abbie at some point decides she doesn't want her dinner and dumps it into the sink and proceeds to the pantry (clearly for something more interesting to eat...like a 100 cal pack of chocolate covered pretzel, mayhaps?). I put the kabbash on that; she's not happy. Then there's some flinging of seat cushions. Kevin and I decide; enough is enough and in she goes to bed. Kevin gives her the usual sippy cup of milk which she proceeds to spit out. and...no sippy cup now! Needless to say, I'm pretty sure some preschooler and tween PMS just hit my house in one 3 hour time span while I also am down and out; what else could explain such madness? One of my friends insists her 4 year old has a "cycle"; I'm am damn well coming close to counting days like she suggested; I mean seriously!

So, then I'm finishing up getting something small for Autumn and I to eat for dinner and there's election crap on tv; yes, I called it election crap! I am so friggin' sick of election crap I could puke again like Monday night! I hate, hate, hate election time because I really, really think it brings out the worst in people. I am counting down the day until this damn election is over and we can all get over it and move on regardless of who we wanted to win (or in my case, which candidate I forced myself to vote for because its my damn civic duty!). I've taken this interesting journey over the past 15 years of so of being pretty dang liberal politically (took a newsweek rate political stance and place you next to a politician; I was between [at that time] Jesse Jackson and Ted Kennedy...'nuff said!) to pretty much, being a moderate, indpendent, or just a, I look at each candidate, their stances on important issues to me, their personalities, how they conduct themselves, etc., etc.. And frankly, I have mixed feelings even on issues that are important to me. I was thinking of this the other day in terms of my strengthsquest test (seriously, can you believe I'm mentioning this?!) and that one of my greatest strengths is empathy. So, in one point in the description, it mentions how those who have this strength can completely disagree with someone's views, choices, behavior, etc, but still "understand" where they're coming from and their point of view. I really think this is why I hate election time. Because, I legimately don't agree with all views of either major party so I don't vote along party lines. Also, because of this, I have a really hard time understanding how extremists on both sides can be so vicious and stereotype each other. And this is coming from someone who has a husband who while not an "extremist", is pretty conservative and friends who though not all are "extremists" are pretty liberal and loves them all (in different ways of course..>LOL!). I work in an environment that is ultra-liberal and it makes me wonder as an independent moderate, who just on that premise alone, keeps her mouth shut most of the time, how constricting it musth be for a conservative who is a student or staff member there and how marginalized they must feel. On the other hand, I look at some people in my faith (Christian, but Protestant to Catholic convert) who are ultra-conservative and it certainly makes me realize while people fall away from their faith. I think its such a shame both ways. Anyway, I need to finally just vent these frustrations because I'm immersed in them everywhere and often feel the need to just turn it off with my family, colleagues and friends who are all fired up one way or another all the time. I found this blog that I though rather insightful that sums much of my feelings up (I'm not sure I agree with the way #19 is written..perhaps more of a balance in some of this, but anyhow... overall its a good summary!)

http://afrankangle.wordpress.com/2008/09/22/its-great-being-an-independent-moderate

Okay, so now I feel much better. For my friends, family and colleagues who are reading this; take note :) you've captured one of the few times I'll speak either in writing or verbally about my political viewpoints specifically because of this issue; the lack of a "safe space" in many cases for those of varying political ideations to be able to constructively and kindly share views...and still be friends :) its just too damn emotionally charged. Ask Kevin who's seen me have emotional outbursts over political discussions; he knows me better than anyone.

Well, now that I"ve discussed the topic I hate most right now (can you believe I entered college as a Poli Sci major? (SNORT!), I feel the need, for both myself and others, to move on to lighter matters; namely popsicles and jello:

So, jello...I've had a lot of it over the past couple of days with this stomach bug. And really, I always forget how tasty it is until I have a stomach bug. The way you can squelch it around in your mouth until its like juice...awesome. But, this is what I wonder: (any thoughts would be appreciated) what is it that makes jello made from a box tastier than the jello cups? Is it just the standard, homemade is always better? Maybe. But really, I mean come on! You mix powder and hot and cold water and put it in the fridge; what kind of homemade is that?!

And popsicles: I must take a vote; who eats the organge ones first? And who leaves them for last? See, I am of the latter persuasion and in my cherry/grape centric world view, I just assumed everyone left the orange behind. I was musing on this yesterday. You know, we busy res lifers who are also Moms are forced to lay low and we have to keep our minds working somehow. I was ready to question Hood and similar companies market research, but before doing so, I did a bit of my own. Do you know just on my staff like 1/3 favor the orange? Outrageous! I never knew. Well, my eyes are opened and may I be more inclusive because of it!
Though, I will say to a certain colleague, that you can't make your passion for orange popsicles point based on orange juice or creamsicles; it just doesn't work!

Wow! I've talked mimimal ResLife today; check that out! Well, ya know, just playing the game in a way...you never know who might end up on here :)

and with that I'm off to have a popsicle maybe, admittedly grape if I can find one. And then I'm off to bed to get sleep before my big day of Res Life meetings. As a Provost once said he responded to someone asking him what he does...."I meet" So, I'm off to go do what an AD does.

Later gators!