The "I don't know what this will be about, but I haven't blogged in a month" Post

Okee dokee; so, its been over a month since I last posted. Isn't that crazy? Quite a bit of things have happened since the Prom episode. Myself and my co-workers have had lots of meetings with our boss and our second line supervisor. We've been challenging ourselves to rework our system within our bounds. One thing I think we've done, especially my returning colleagues and I, is start advocating for ourselves. Maybe we still don't do it as often as we should, but we're standing up more when we need something, or, in fact, don't need something. I'm proud of us. I was just discussing with one of my friends and colleagues that "we've come a long way baby" from this time last year as a team; truly we have. Sharing is becoming easier too; sharing the spotlight, sharing the trouble, sharing a lot. And I think, this is really making us more successful and more professional. I'm also developing different kinds of friendships with my colleagues and I appreciate those friendships perhaps in a way I didn't before. Let me explain.

When I left Massachusetts to move out here to New York, I had a much harder time leaving the couple that Kevin and I had become best friends with; Tim and Tina, than anything else. Our families are farther away now, but they were still an hour to an hour and a half away then. I don't think I realized how critical friends right where you are locally are, until my friendship with Tim and Tina. We had high hopes for maintaining the friendship once we moved away; you know, we'd email, still visit and the girls would be email pen pals one day. That worked for about a year. Now, its relegated to a Christmas card and once in a GREAT while email. There's parts of my that are sad about it, but...it is what it is :) as I always say.

Here's what I realized that I didn't have right about friendships as an adult though; that they have to be an exact match. Why did I think they did? I think I felt like; unless I became friends with another married couple, with two kids, almost exactly the same age, that it just wouldn't work. I was searching for a needle in a haystack. I'm becoming more and more comfortable with the concept that friendships change. I'm becoming even more comfortable that I can expand upon the above definition of a friendship want ad and have really fulfilling friendships with younger people, people with more kids, no kids, single people, etc. etc. Sometimes the way we have to plan our friendship time might change slightly, but these new friends I'm developing are local (read #1 that I realized you need) and truly care about me, who I am and the important people in my life; Kevin and the girls. I'm so happy I've found them.

This is not to say that I don't wish my life was easier in terms of friendships. I still want the girlfriend right next door, that also works full-time outside the home and can go for walks in the neighborhood without a crazy adjustment of a schedule. I am starting to realize though as I am at this third/middle age range, that this is really an image. Our generation is different. We're juggling more, we' struggling financially, we're busy, busy people in a society that values human contact less and less. I'm not saying we should completely acquiesce to society in this regard, but again, it is what it is. For example, a young childless couple move in next door to us. We thought, oh fun! Younger neighbors RIGHT NEXT DOOR; they move in during mid-October. We barely ever see them!

I think maybe when we're then in our early t0 mid 40's; careers more established, further education started or completed, kids older if we have them, things may be easier. For now though, my developing friendships are enough. The commonalities we do share, and the care people express is enough. I look forward to how these friendships change and develop too over the next decade.