Her Own Person

I had this sudden revelation; Autumn is becoming her own person.

Now, at first glance, you might think I'm a bit crazy or fanatical; how can she JUST be realizing this after almost 10 years? Okay, so yes, all children become their own person as soon as they become aware of the world they've been thrust into and start developing their own little personalities. However, anyone who is a Mom also knows that there's this incredible symbiosis with your children that extends beyond the womb and always will be. However, in the early developmental years, your children often take more of their cues from you; you mannerisms, personality and likes and dislikes. Then, the independent personality, outside of the pieces they "inherit" from each of their parents becomes apparent. This is what I'm realizing is starting to happen and the example that made me realize it is absolutely ridiculous in one way, but in another, really hit home for me.

I was fortunate to get to spend a great deal of time with Autumn in her first 4 years or so. I lived in as an Area Coordinator, and as such, got to use my flexible schedule to do this. When I took my current job, I had much less time with her, but she was growing up too. During my first year out here, in a way to connect and get involved in my community, I volunteered to coach CYO cheerleading at my church; not just one team, oh no! that's not for the brave, I coached two; pee wee (1st-5th grade) and grammar (middle school). Autumn of course wanted to spend time with me so she came to practices and games. They gave her an older uniform that she could wear on the bench and be a "macot" :) We were the angels. She liked to do bench cheers with the girls. My second year, out here in Binghamton, I gave up the grammar coaching because it was a bit too time-consuming and intense and just focused on pee wees. Now Autumn was in Kindergarten, and then CYO Director allowed her to be a full member of the team...with all girls older than her. Somehow, she amazingly held her own. When I look back now in hindsight (which is 20/20 we all know) I had crazy expectations of a 5 year old kindergartener; we had quite a fit competition morning. However, after those two years, she professed a love of all things cheer! :) Aaah, a girl after my own heart! While I certainly wasn't a girly girl growing up...I made my Mom crazy by never wanting to wear dresses...I really loved cheer in middle school and high school and was really into it. So this was a great interest for us to keep connecting with. The fall after that, she went out for Pop Warner cheer, did it for 2 weeks and HATED IT! I let her quit and was secretly disappointed. Yes, it was run like crap and wasn't as advanced as what she was used to in CYO, but it was filled with girls from the local area and was cheer of course. Later that fall, she was all excited for CYO cheer again, but found out the church we were going to, where her Catholic school was, wouldn't allow 1st graders to cheer; she was so disappointed. Then, in both 2nd and 3rd grade, when back at our original church, I offered to "help" coach, but neither time did they have enough girls for a pee wee team. The first time, she was really sad. Then we looked into competitive cheer that was being brought down to the area from Syracuse. She got excited. We got ready to pay BIG money and they decided they didn't have enough interest in the area. She was bummed, but not as sad as CYO. Then in 3rd grade when the CYO cheer interest wasn't there again to form a team, she kind of just shrugged it off.

Meanwhile, to fill the winter months with exercise and an activity, we had joined the Y and Autumn began playing indoor soccer and really liked it. She was now playing town soccer August-October, Y soccer January-March and town soccer May-June. Then she started going to soccer camps; first a morning only town camp, then this past summer, a club camp with 6 hours a day straight of soccer. I remember calling Kevin on the way home her first day and asking him how she was. He said, she loved it, but she's absolutely exhausted!"...YAY Soccer! :) And we did give her more ibuprofen that week than she'd ever had before probably; but despite the fatigue, she really like it. During especially the Y seasons too, I noticed that when she had certain coaches that were a bit harder and pushed her, she performed better and tried harder.

So this fall, she decided to go our for a local competitive/travel soccer club. She "made" the U10 team. Suddenly its been all soccer, all the time! :) Two practices a week (Tuesday and Wednesday) and games on Saturdays with sometimes tournaments on Sundays. And get this, it runs November through June...7 months straight of games! WOW! And she's working with a coach who knows what he's doing and pushes her, but isn't an ass that's trying to live vicariously through their children. And she's making amazing gains and gaining more self-confidence.

So, what does this all have to do with becoming her own person? well, aside from the fact that she could be a case study for a tween :), she first had absolutely NO interest for the first year in even considering cheer. And just this week she made a comment about a friend who couldn't be at Girl Scouts because of cheer practice. Her attitude was that of "whatever", why's cheer so much more important to her. I likened it to her and soccer and she got it, but....said she couldn't stand cheer!

So, that was the epiphany I had of her becoming her own person. Even though that was a close connection for us these past few years, she felt comfortable letting it go, and following what she's interested in . You know what? I didn't play soccer growing up, not even a rec league. I hate missing her games though. I love seeing her do well out there and learn and be proud when she heads the ball and yes, even be proud that she got hit face own by her own keeper's kick and kept going (despite my moment of panic). So even though I'll have a lot to learn over the next few years if she continues advancing in soccer, and even though, I still think cheer is a sport and completey GET why her friend missed Girl Scouts to practice for competition, soccer has become an expression of HER. And while its frightening and sad on one hand, its exhilirating on the other; and I couldn't be prouder that she's becoming HER OWN PERSON.