How much can one brain hold?

So, I was thinking yesterday or today (see, I don't even remember which!), how much really, can one ResLifeMom's brain hold; seriously...

We wonder why we have this insane generation of millennial students at our universities and helicopter and stealth bomb parents on our campus landing pads; I get it! Really, the kids are just doing what they've been doing for 18 years (or 23 or 27...right Jen? Traditional age has changed?) as are the parents. I'm realizing that the amount of stuff, just for my kids that I"m required to remember, AND not only remember, BUT find time to GET DONE...is staggering! Never mind, a house and being a wife, and OH, being an employee in a crazy field! Because on any given day, I might need to remember and accomplish the following (ahem..in no particular order):

Decide what to have for dinner
Pick package for the pre-school photos
Sign up to walk the pre-schoolers to the fire station
Remember to ask for a half day to walk the pre-schoolers to the fire station
Remember to re-schedule the one on one that is cancelled due to the half-day off to walk the pre-schoolers to the fire station
Have the form filled out and NOTARIZED to use the oldest's school for Girl Scout meetings
Make grocery list
Defrost what's for dinner
Type out notes from learning community meeting and send out
Get the EXACT? (seriously!) menu for a Homecoming brunch and email it the appropriate person
Fill out the grade school book order form AND write the check
Get the flannel sheets out of storage and wash those
Sew patches on the girl scout vest
Call the doctor to pick up health form for 4th grade AND copy off date of last tetanus shot onto soccer form
Have said soccer form NOTARIZED
Sign another form agreeing to not go CRAZY PARENT LIVING VICARIOUSLY THOUGH THEIR KID on a soccer ref
Come up with something for the preschooler to wear to school on picture day
Get to the Girl Scout store to buy badges for all girls in the troop
Remember to put on calendar that SunDAY there is no religion class, but drag the ENTIRE family to the performance at church that night
Clean the damn bathroom before the in-laws get here
Buy a storage bin for preschoolers "memories"
Remember to nag husband about locks on the bathroom and bedroom doors
Remember to tell colleague and friend that I listed them as an emergency contact
Buy soccer cleats
Respond individually to 20 college student journals
Remember to schedule dentist appointment for oldest
Remember to schedule eye doctor appointment for oldest
Get my eyes checked...its been 3 years for goodness sakes!
Get to the ATM to activate the NEACUHO debit card
Get time to meet with Chris to use the debit card to buy a domain name
Get to the bank to find out if I can sign the Girl Scout Troop checks and deposit dues
Get to the Girl Scout Council office to turn in forms
Follow up with past student who is now advisor for NEACURH conference on what if any accomodations they've been able to make for Jewish student Sabbath observance
Respond to resident parent about judicial that the student is lying about to said parent, but I can't tell them that
what exactly could I have for lunch tomorrow?
Get to Planet Fitness to join
Review student reaction papers
plan online parent class for next week
Plan time to get both girls to Party City to decide upon a Halloween costume
Respond to parent email about Girl Scouts
Find and buy a new fall/winter bedding set
Buy more "big girl underwear" for a certain someone who is staying dry though naps
Call my mom
Coordinate evening schedules with Kevin to his religion class and my government meetings
Cancel the sitter when government cancels their meeting and reschedule for another time and then re-do entire coming in for government schedule
Find a babysitter
Get to the ATM to pay a babysitter
Submit time sheets
Give feedback on new housing project
Wonder if I'll ever get to use my new ipod or have the time to load MY songs on it
Water the mums (why do mine look like shit no matter what compared to the neighbors)
Where am I goign to take the in-laws for dinner this weekend
Do one of any number of agendas for a variety of meetings
Forward a candidate email to the Search Chair
Plan training for a new staff member
Determine what snack I could donate to the Class Basket for the raffle, buy it and send it in
Determine what treat I could bring for the pre-school Halloween party
Get pre-schooler's 3 year old bloodwork done....a month later
Maybe reschedule my haircut
I need some new pants and fall/winter clothes in general

I don't even exagerate when I say all these things could be flying around in my head in any given day. Its INSANE! The level that require of parental involvement too is staggering. I mean, I just made parents do it for Girl Scouts, so who am I to say anything, but...

it still speaks to my point about parental involvement in this generation of students and children and why its so difficult for parents to let go. People say its because my girls are younger, but in fact, I work with a number of 45-55 year olds with high school and college students and they do the same; flext here to get to the recital, then fit in working the booster booth at the game, before leaving and driving the younger one off to their practice...its insane, insane, INSANE!

Did I mention its insane?

So anyway, my initial question was how much can one brain hold? Apparently a lot, BUT at what cost? Health? being late? Forgetting things? Not doing everything to full quality? I know, what about Kevin, you say. See, here's the deal; I have guilt! So I need to own that! Kevin, because he makes his own schedule (I know I"m lucky here) is home with Abbie noon-5:30 and Autumn 3-5:30 on Mondays, home with both girls 3-5:30 on Tuesdays through Thursdays and home with Abbie all day and Autumn 3-5:3o pm on Fridays, so sometimes I have guilt about saying, oh, and I need to go to this or that. Also, both girls have a high need for just me time for very different reasons. How do I build that in? My lovely mentee and co-leader for Girl Scouts, though not a Mom yet, had a wonderful idea about rotating weekend mornings or afternoons with each girl. Then of course there's family time to fit in though and lest we forget, the ever-elusive Kevin and I time. Its horrible, because these days, I don't want to travel anywhere to see anyone on the weekends; it takes away free time and creates more work that needs to be fit in elsewhere during the week. For example, we're goign to Kevin's brother and our sister-in-law's in two weeks FOR AN OVERNIGHT...IN NEW HAMPSHIRE...6 HOURS AWAY!....UGH! I would give anything for them to say, "oh, we have something that came up with our practice (they're Docs) and we can't have you up" ...oh that would be lovely! Though then again, I'm already half way there in CT at a NEACUHO e-board meeting, so what's it matter at that point. Plus, now my in-laws are expecting us to stay Friday night before we head up to NH and really, whom am I to deny them seeing their son and grand-daughters; especially that I moved them ALL THE WAY OUT HERE to NY, because what are they going to do when they're older and can't come out here (as if staying just about 24 hours, with 8 of those sleeping is a lot to begin with). Plus, you need to sort of equal out the visits between the in-laws and my TWO sets of parents (oh, the joy of divorce and remarriage...it still affects you at age 37!).

So, people often wonder why I blog, read, plan facebook bowling at 12am; um....did you just read my blog?

That is all, because though I'm not tired now, I will be dying for a nap all weekend and can't get them because I"m grocery shopping two days earlier than anticipated, shuttling the preschooler to gymnastics, cleaning the house, entertaining the in-laws, attending a travel soccer parents meeting (that's RIGHT! After the rant you just saw, I said TRAVEL soccer...), hang out while the girly practices, work on the social studies project, spend time with the girls, plan something fun to do on Monday when we're all off and maybe, JUST maybe, take a nap, but....probably not!

Maybe more on my first experience as a Girl Scout leader later this weekend...oh, oh, or on being Chair of a Host Committee for a professional conference...

a sick mommy, biting and politics...oh my!

So, I'm done with being sick; seriously, I'm done. And right, I know; no one likes being sick. However, being sick as a ResLife Mommy is doubley sucky I think! (I'm sure many of my single or childless, or I have other responsibilities friends would disagree, but its my feelings and I"m owning it, okay?!) It started last week with the crazy throat on fire, cut up by shards of glass feeling, followed by the sinus issue, followed by maybe a one day reprieve and them BAM, a stomach thing, followed immediately by a chest cough (which incidentally is even worse when one's abs haven't recovered from the trauma of retching). I tried to make it today; I really did. I drove 15 minutes into the office just to empy my deleted box in my email because for whatever reason I can't do it at home. Mind you, this is while I still frankly, feel like crap, had to drop Autumn off at school because she missed her bus and remember on the WAY into work that actually my staff meeting was off-campus today. So, I drive the 15 minutes in, chat with my secretary, delete the damn email (which by the way, is very hard for me to do as I live in constant paranoia of needing to "prove" something regarding an email to a supervisor; however, with no time to review 485 emails, I just take a deep breath and delete). So, I do this deed, talke to one of my RDs about it and then drive back home to change out of the stupid dress clothes into jeans and a long sleeve t-shirt, to drive to the apple farm to meet my staff AND get stopped in one lane road work in the boonies of Maine, NY! So, I'm half an hour late to meet my staff. We have a quick breakfast and casual discussion (thank goodness there was nothing major to chat about) and then pick a few apples. My legs literally felt like LEAD as did my head; signed, sealed, delivered...I'm done; going home.

So, I go home, check email again, respond to a few things and decided, I need to go back to bed, and so I do, for 2 hours! Fast forward to the family coming home. Autumn comes home first. I hear her call me so I yell, I'm up here to which she chooses to ignore me and proceed to her room muttering; clearly upset. I call her several times and finally get her to come into the room (head too heavy to get up). To which she's clearly pissed. After some coaxing the tears come and our spills the drama...half an hours worth..>LITERALLY! This girl said this, this girl said that, maybe I should just be done with this friendship, etc., etc. I try to just listen and reflect what she was saying, I try to have the realistic conversation; (ie: some people you'll be friendly with, but you'll learn who your real friends are); nothing works. The entire time I'm thinking; what do I even do here? I need a book to reference or something...Not that I don't think I can connect, I do, but its back to this parenting a "tween" in this age. She's literally dealing with emotional and social turmoil that I did in middle school. Now, most people I know think middle school was the most atrocious thing in the world because of the hell we all put each other through. Now kids are dealing with thie 3-5 years earlier than that. We didn't have the emotional intelligence or cognition to deal with it at 11-13. How are they supposed to at 9 I ask? So finally she just rants herself done and seems to be able to move on. We'll see what the school day holds tomorrow. Now, I try to NOT NOT NOT become the type of parent that I see in Res Life work; the stealth bomber. Sometimes I wonder though if I'm pushing to hard to not be "that parent" that I"m not giving her what she needs. I worry that she's running with the "cool" group and isn't developing any real close friendships; girlfriends (real ones) are so important I think. ARGH! So on the one end, I feel her pain, but on the other, I'm trying to just be supportive. I want to say the ditch the bitchy girls and be friends with the nice ones, but I know how that would have made me feel; that my Mom "so didn't get it", so I don't do that, but I wonder if I'm missing something.

Enter Kevin and Abbie: Autumn shuts the door on Kevin (as she so does NOT want to talk to him about this...her attitude, not mine) and just about lets Abbie in; who just wants to tell me about her new friend Emma; not what Autumn wants to hear in her grouchy, nobody likes me, everbody hates me, I guess I'll eat some worms moment (or 30 moments, whatever). Eventually though, Abbie dons some silly glasses and a hat and make Autumn laugh; aaahh positive sister relationships. We all go out to the living room. Abbie plays, Autumn works on her homework and I work on work stuff on the laptop. Then the usual debate begins; what's for dinner; the PRESSURE! I'm sick; I don't want to eat, much less make anything so we agree on leftovers.

Kevin wanders downstairs to the computer and I am in the kitchen doing I don't even know what, and I hear Autumn whining or something. My ears perk up, but its one of those, is she laughing, crying, whining bits or what. Then I realize its sobbing. It hurts!~ Stop! I run in just in time to grab Abbie to have Autumn yell between sobs; she bit me! Did I mention Abbie is going through a biting phase? I don't even look first because I know when Autumn is how she looked, its not her usual drama. I yell down to Kevin to get up there and in Abbie goes for a time out. I look at the bite and its broken the skin and drawn blood; great! So, after calling the on call nurse, we determine just a good washing and tylenol for the pain will suffice and I need to keep my eye on it for infection and put ice on it every hour or so until the swelling goes down. We have a conversation with Abbie about biting again (where the heck is she getting this?), she apologizes to Autumn and gives her a hug and a kiss. All seems okay; then comes dinner. Abbie at some point decides she doesn't want her dinner and dumps it into the sink and proceeds to the pantry (clearly for something more interesting to eat...like a 100 cal pack of chocolate covered pretzel, mayhaps?). I put the kabbash on that; she's not happy. Then there's some flinging of seat cushions. Kevin and I decide; enough is enough and in she goes to bed. Kevin gives her the usual sippy cup of milk which she proceeds to spit out. and...no sippy cup now! Needless to say, I'm pretty sure some preschooler and tween PMS just hit my house in one 3 hour time span while I also am down and out; what else could explain such madness? One of my friends insists her 4 year old has a "cycle"; I'm am damn well coming close to counting days like she suggested; I mean seriously!

So, then I'm finishing up getting something small for Autumn and I to eat for dinner and there's election crap on tv; yes, I called it election crap! I am so friggin' sick of election crap I could puke again like Monday night! I hate, hate, hate election time because I really, really think it brings out the worst in people. I am counting down the day until this damn election is over and we can all get over it and move on regardless of who we wanted to win (or in my case, which candidate I forced myself to vote for because its my damn civic duty!). I've taken this interesting journey over the past 15 years of so of being pretty dang liberal politically (took a newsweek rate political stance and place you next to a politician; I was between [at that time] Jesse Jackson and Ted Kennedy...'nuff said!) to pretty much, being a moderate, indpendent, or just a, I look at each candidate, their stances on important issues to me, their personalities, how they conduct themselves, etc., etc.. And frankly, I have mixed feelings even on issues that are important to me. I was thinking of this the other day in terms of my strengthsquest test (seriously, can you believe I'm mentioning this?!) and that one of my greatest strengths is empathy. So, in one point in the description, it mentions how those who have this strength can completely disagree with someone's views, choices, behavior, etc, but still "understand" where they're coming from and their point of view. I really think this is why I hate election time. Because, I legimately don't agree with all views of either major party so I don't vote along party lines. Also, because of this, I have a really hard time understanding how extremists on both sides can be so vicious and stereotype each other. And this is coming from someone who has a husband who while not an "extremist", is pretty conservative and friends who though not all are "extremists" are pretty liberal and loves them all (in different ways of course..>LOL!). I work in an environment that is ultra-liberal and it makes me wonder as an independent moderate, who just on that premise alone, keeps her mouth shut most of the time, how constricting it musth be for a conservative who is a student or staff member there and how marginalized they must feel. On the other hand, I look at some people in my faith (Christian, but Protestant to Catholic convert) who are ultra-conservative and it certainly makes me realize while people fall away from their faith. I think its such a shame both ways. Anyway, I need to finally just vent these frustrations because I'm immersed in them everywhere and often feel the need to just turn it off with my family, colleagues and friends who are all fired up one way or another all the time. I found this blog that I though rather insightful that sums much of my feelings up (I'm not sure I agree with the way #19 is written..perhaps more of a balance in some of this, but anyhow... overall its a good summary!)

http://afrankangle.wordpress.com/2008/09/22/its-great-being-an-independent-moderate

Okay, so now I feel much better. For my friends, family and colleagues who are reading this; take note :) you've captured one of the few times I'll speak either in writing or verbally about my political viewpoints specifically because of this issue; the lack of a "safe space" in many cases for those of varying political ideations to be able to constructively and kindly share views...and still be friends :) its just too damn emotionally charged. Ask Kevin who's seen me have emotional outbursts over political discussions; he knows me better than anyone.

Well, now that I"ve discussed the topic I hate most right now (can you believe I entered college as a Poli Sci major? (SNORT!), I feel the need, for both myself and others, to move on to lighter matters; namely popsicles and jello:

So, jello...I've had a lot of it over the past couple of days with this stomach bug. And really, I always forget how tasty it is until I have a stomach bug. The way you can squelch it around in your mouth until its like juice...awesome. But, this is what I wonder: (any thoughts would be appreciated) what is it that makes jello made from a box tastier than the jello cups? Is it just the standard, homemade is always better? Maybe. But really, I mean come on! You mix powder and hot and cold water and put it in the fridge; what kind of homemade is that?!

And popsicles: I must take a vote; who eats the organge ones first? And who leaves them for last? See, I am of the latter persuasion and in my cherry/grape centric world view, I just assumed everyone left the orange behind. I was musing on this yesterday. You know, we busy res lifers who are also Moms are forced to lay low and we have to keep our minds working somehow. I was ready to question Hood and similar companies market research, but before doing so, I did a bit of my own. Do you know just on my staff like 1/3 favor the orange? Outrageous! I never knew. Well, my eyes are opened and may I be more inclusive because of it!
Though, I will say to a certain colleague, that you can't make your passion for orange popsicles point based on orange juice or creamsicles; it just doesn't work!

Wow! I've talked mimimal ResLife today; check that out! Well, ya know, just playing the game in a way...you never know who might end up on here :)

and with that I'm off to have a popsicle maybe, admittedly grape if I can find one. And then I'm off to bed to get sleep before my big day of Res Life meetings. As a Provost once said he responded to someone asking him what he does...."I meet" So, I'm off to go do what an AD does.

Later gators!