I've become one of "those" moms

This is the best way I can some it up. So, I've been pretty strong in my feelings about children with cell phones. I certainly have not admonished others who give their child a cell phone at an early age, but I said it wasn't for us, I didn't see the point and wasn't going to consider it for Autumn until she reached middle school. That was then...

This is now.


So, Autumn of course has been harassing us for a couple of years now about a cell phone and we've held out (see above). As I've begun chatting with more and more parents though, and more of the parents I respect (because some of the ones I didn't get were the buy your child a vera, coach, ipod, cell, etc, etc, etc as soon as they ask and act like your best friends even though they're 8, 9, 10, 11 years old) in terms of the parenting style and I'm finding them to be getting the kids cell phones. Some have used their free upgrade or buy one get one deals, some have bought pre-paid phones or had the child buy them, but regardless of how and why, many have made the leap. So, Kevin and I chatted and on Sunday decided we'd try this out. We decided that Autumn had made honor roll every term this year and seems to be maturing a bit more and maybe it was time. she's doing travel soccer, she's more independently out and about, more sleepovers, etc, etc. So, we decide she can use her saved up money to buy a trac phone (with stipulations of course) and needs to use her allowance for minutes. We set a bunch of guidelines including:

doesn't go to school unless an afterschool activity or specific reason we agree too.
we have the right to randomly check calls and texts made, received etc
If behavioral issues occur, grades drop when school starts or we have concerns about nasty texting, etc. its pulled

and on and on.

So, with all this, we take the plunge. We call her in on Sunday morning and tell her we need to talk to her. Kevin says, "Autumn, mommy and I have been talking, and we've been really disappointed with how you've been acting lately (pause), so we're going to let you get a cell phone" The look of confusion on her face, followed by the following response "you're disappointed in me...so I'm getting a cell phone?" was priceless. :) We then told her we were joking and that we were very proud of her school work this year and how mature she had been on vacation and so we're going to try this "test" of her responsibility and allow her to get a cell phone on several conditions, which we went on to list. You can't imagine her elation. Who knew?

So, Sunday afternoon we head out to Sam's Club to price trac-phones. After talking with the wireless sales person, he encouraged us just to explore our current family plan with verizon for financial and security/control reasons. So, after a hush, hush dialogue in Sam's Club, we trek with Autumn and Abbie over to our local Verizon store. Now, one must understand that I do NOT like going to the Verizon store anyway, even when my contarct is coming due. The entire thing, from the process of having to "sign in" and wait, to the "sales" feel, the plans, everything just annoys the heck out of me, but here I am again. FORTUNATELY, we get one of the best sales people I've had in the 10 years I've had Verizon. We discover that truly it ends up being about the same or cheaper to add her onto our plan and get her a "real" cell phone and we have more control over it with it being on our plan. Plus, in my six years working for the State, I haven't taken advantage of our Verzon discount. Why you ask? Who knows? Laziness, forgot, CAN'T STAND going into the store; whatever, but get this...its 19%, so with that we're doing well. So, Autumn walks away with the newest (and coolest BY FAR) cell phone of the family with minutes and texting to rival mine. Once we made the decision to go on our plan, an entire OTHER discussion needed to be had, about applications and web-browsing and junk phone mail and such. I'm hoping, this is also an educational lesson for her in personal accountability, and responsiblity, and finance.

So, since Sunday afternoon, at 5pm, I'm pretty sure Autumn has texted me about 50 times :) She doesn't have many of her friends' cells yet because they're out of school and school activities, we just got back from vacation and so other than her best friend, she hasn't really had a change to connect with anyone. Perhaps this is why she's been texting me so much. Or, just maybe perhaps, did I judget too quickly the parents who text with their kids. I will admit, I've felt good about a few of the texts, that otherwise I wouldn't have received and maybe she would have forgot about if she had to "wait" to call. For example, on Monday, she was a bit moody when I woke her up for her first day of camp of the summer. Nothing disrespectful, just I could tell "in a mood". When I got to work that day I had a text from her (my phone was off until right before gettting to the office) that she had done either right before or after I left the house. Its said, "i woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I'm sorry" which is something we're working with her on; expressing emotions appropriately without necessarily "taking them out" on others. WOW! :) Now, pre-cell she might have thought she should say sorry, but I left and then after the day at camp she would have forgot. What a cool experience. I texted her later that day for when she got home to inquire how camp went. Again, I got a text right before leaving work saying; camp was cool, we observed rocks, did computer lab and made models of saturn and mars. I made a new friend too named Grace. Again, something cool and a "bond" we have of sorts now to connect.

So, maybe I've beomce on of "those" moms or maybe, Kevin and I just changed out mind and decided to go in a different direction and have given it a lot of thought.